I'm Back

Hello everyone ,
i'm back with my blog,
it been long time i not write for my blog. Now , Ramadhan season. I just berbuka puase at my cousin home near phra pradaeng at bangkok. It a first day of ramadhan. I still thinking about someone . I really miss. Miss everything. I feel like going back my home now, but i cant. but i believe myself , i can do it. i will come back one day . to meet someone that i miss so much . I to look at it.Only my heart can tell , but my mouth cant tell , i don't know why. Now i writing this blog. just to tell how i feel. I feel very depressing, sad , i not happy what i am now.I want to go back to past time. to fix what i do. i want to fix what i do wrong.so the way will be better. i wish i can make a time machine. to enjoy my past time life.
Now everything goes different. My hand are hurt. just because i punch at the wall last nite. I cant control myself.i want to punch to make me feel hurt for myself , because i deserve it. when i chat to her. i know she maybe 'rimas' at me. I just want to talk , i care bout her. This is want i am. i don't know how to say it.
only god knows.I keep all her picture. Especially my picture with her. When i look at it, i start to get tears. i cried.even my heart also cry. i'm keep thinking. "what i going to do next'?
questions all over my head. why, why why , what what , how how when when ?
It raining now while i write this, i feel very sleepy. but i wont close my eye. eventhough that she still online , i will online even that i not chat with her. If she offline i will offline. i dont care.
if i get sick , fever or something i dont care, nowdays have many drugs store. i can buy the medicine for cure it. i wish i a superman. so i can fly , to see her everyday. i wonder what she doing now. Everyone not perfect.everyone have weakness, but everything can fixs it to be a good things. Dont make such a bullshit decisions first. think wisely , it same with. sometimes i make a quick decision. and everything goes wrong. now i start to be a patient has i am.
i will get her.
i won care. what happens to me . i still want her